3 Tips To Master Saying "NO"

​"Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough" -Josh Bullings

​At our core, we are people pleasers we want to make everyone happy even if it means us being unhappy. We seek to please others so much so that we are willing to put our goals and dreams on hold for the sake of others. 

I found that over the years I have said too may yeses which led to frustration, overwhelm and resentment. Along the line, I found that pleasing people is not worth my time or sanity. Over the past year, I committed to saying no more often. As a result, I have seen my goals and dreams moving forward, and seeing that helped me understand that my no's were necessary. 

You must understand that what you do now is vital to what your life will look like later. When you are saying yes to everyone and everything you risk overcommitting your time, energy and even finances. While letting others down is hard and saying no seems like a selfish choice, it is the best thing that you can do for yourself. So how do you start saying no more?

Examine what you want

​First, think about what you are working towards. What are your goals and dreams? Personal, financial and business. While you are examing your goals, consider them without others in mind. Yes, I said it! Do not think about family and friends, think about you! The reason you must examine these things is that when you know why you are saying you're no, it makes it easier to say no. 
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 Be strong in your belief
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“The ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life”. -Vanessa M. Patrick
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Learn to be strong in your no! When you say, no others will try and sway your decision. One of the hardest things about saying no is the feeling that you have to explain yourself. The truth is saying no does not requires a explanation, no is no. It is easier to say no now then regret saying yes later.
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 Prepare for an emotional response

​Emotions are typical when you are telling someone something they do not want to hear. Know that when you make a choice not to please people, their instant response may be backlash. Prepare yourself for this possibility ahead of time. In the midst of giving your no, stay strong in your why. Saying no is about setting boundaries, and most people do not like or respect boundaries. The thing about boundaries is they are necessary for your growth and success. 

​Saying no is not about hurting people, it is about helping you. Saying no to others is saying yes to self. The yes you give yourself is the best yes you can and will ever speak. I want to encourage you today, your no does not have to come with guilt and shame. You can rest in knowing that your dreams are a priority and you won't let anything stop you. So here is to saying no to others and yes to you, you can do it! 
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I wish you well and we will talk soon,

​Tamika