At our core, we are people pleasers we want to make everyone happy even if it means us being unhappy. We seek to please others so much so that we are willing to put our goals and dreams on hold for the sake of others. 

I found that over the years I have said too may yeses which led to frustration, overwhelm and resentment. Along the line, I found that pleasing people is not worth my time or sanity. Over the past year, I committed to saying no more often. As a result, I have seen my goals and dreams moving forward, and seeing that helped me understand that my no's were necessary. 

You must understand that what you do now is vital to what your life will look like later. When you are saying yes to everyone and everything you risk overcommitting your time, energy and even finances. While letting others down is hard and saying no seems like a selfish choice, it is the best thing that you can do for yourself. So how do you start saying no more?

​First, think about what you are working towards. What are your goals and dreams? Personal, financial and business. While you are examing your goals, consider them without others in mind. Yes, I said it! Do not think about family and friends, think about you! The reason you must examine these things is that when you know why you are saying you're no, it makes it easier to say no. 

​Emotions are typical when you are telling someone something they do not want to hear. Know that when you make a choice not to please people, their instant response may be backlash. Prepare yourself for this possibility ahead of time. In the midst of giving your no, stay strong in your why. Saying no is about setting boundaries, and most people do not like or respect boundaries. The thing about boundaries is they are necessary for your growth and success. 

​Saying no is not about hurting people, it is about helping you. Saying no to others is saying yes to self. The yes you give yourself is the best yes you can and will ever speak. I want to encourage you today, your no does not have to come with guilt and shame. You can rest in knowing that your dreams are a priority and you won't let anything stop you. So here is to saying no to others and yes to you, you can do it! 

It does not matter if you are sitting across a table from your spouse, or standing in front of a crowd of 500+, each day we must communicate in some capacity. Communication is an area that even the best speakers struggle. We must understand that communication is an area that requires constant development. 

Communication is a vital component to our daily life’s, learning how to be an effective communicator helps us to be better leaders, make better decisions makers and help others unlock their very own potential.

Communicating is so much more than merely opening your mouth and saying words, it is not only about you, but also whoever is on the receiving end of the conversation...​
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Effective communication starts with listening, when you listen, you make yourself aware of the need of the concern the person/group of people is having. Example being, if you are speaking to an audience of people, you must start by understanding their need. If a company is struggling to keep employees before you give a solution, you must know why they have that struggle, that starts by actively listening. When you listen to the concern or the problem, it not only helps you, but it also allows the listener to know that you hear them. 

Being to ask yourself, what do I have that can help to solve this problem or help this person? When you understand what you have to offer, you can begin to formulate an appropriate response and plan of action. This leads me to my next point...
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When you are formulating an appropriate response, you need to communicate it honestly and transparently. Our weak areas are often the areas that people connect with us the most. Sharing struggles allows others to understand that you are not perfect and they also do not have to be perfect. 

It is our nature to share our successes but sharing how our success may have begun with a failure should not be a taboo topic. Yes, you may have started a successful business, but do not be afraid to talk about the first five you had that failed before that. Share your truth as a way to understand that failure is not an end but rather a beginning for something new. ​

If you are not confident in what you are saying and the knowledge you are offering someone then they will not be able to have confidence in you. Confidence is something we must work on developing, and the journey to confidence is different for all of us. Take the time to learn and grow in your skill so that you can help someone else grow and develop in theirs. (PS I blogged more about confidence here!)
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Confidence is necessary to connection.

Communication is not about always being right; it is about being real. While you may not be the perfect communicator being willing to grow and develop that skill actively will help you succeed in any conversation. Remember great communication leads to great connections.

Until next time,

Tamika 

Friends, let's talk in the comments. Share any communication tips you have below, let's chat!

"Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.” Mark 11:24 (KJV) 
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Prayer is God's invitation for you to connect with him. Will you accept the invitation? ​